my journey

That will be me… in three weeks from today. It’s hard to imagine that tomorrow Kristin and I will have been engaged for 15 months now,  that is way too long to be engaged if you ask me… or if you ask anyone for that matter.  It’s interesting how time both flies by and inches by as you wait for a soon-approaching day.  There have been days and weeks over the past 15 months where I never thought the wedding day would come… and when we started our countdown at over 200 days it didn’t even seem real.  It’s easy to complain about how long it has taken, but there really have been great benefits to our prolonged engagement.  For one, Kristin and I have become so much closer with our emotions and thoughts as well as dealing with conflict.  Pre-marital counselling actually helped us out quite a bit in seeing the differences that existed between us so if you’re getting married be sure to go through counselling.  It doesn’t make you a “weak sissy” or something like that.  It’s actually extremely beneficial.  Another benefit has been growing comfort with one another and I think moving in together will be a welcomed and celebrated event, with not too many unforeseen issues (although unforeseen is just that…).  There is still quite a bit of planning to do but most of it is done.   We’re excited to be entering into this life-long bond in such a short period of time.  Hopefully we don’t get too stressed before the day actually arrives.  Three weeks to go!

Another one of my favourite word/concepts is that of Hope.  Hope can be a shell of a word as it depends entirely upon the object, to which hope is placed in. So, detached from a truly inevitable or steadfast object hope is quite meaningless.  However, when hope is placed in an ultimately steadfast or faithful object/person then the potential for the word is infinite.   Because I have chosen to place my hope in Christ and His work, I can remain steadfast regardless of how circumstances may appear at any given moment in my life.  The ultimate outcome of my hope in Christ is dwelling in His presence for all of eternity.  The potential outworkings of such an idea are limitless and I am free to explore all that Christ has for me in freedom as I place my trust (read faith) in Him.  Hope in Christ is what brings the glimmer of light to any bleak situation, or the redemption of a situation once thought beyond saving.  Hope in Christ is the window to see what is happening on the other side, the ultimate reality of God’s coming Kingdom.  A marvelous thing, hope in Him is.

Currently reading Manifold Witness by Franke (see my library) with my smaller group at Urban Bridge and tonight there was talk of just what plurality looks like within the Christian faith. David said the line, “The truth God wants to portray in this world cannot be held by one tradition.” The whole idea that even contradictory beliefs among traditions are essential to the plurality we are called to witness to as the people of God. Our unity cannot be found in our stripped-away reduced-down “common” beliefs, but rather in coming together in our differences and pointing to the great truth found expressed in our contradictory beliefs. That was quite the thought, and it got me excited about a greater coming together of God’s people and how that really would be a great expression to the world of what is possible in Christ. “Peeling back” who we are is not possible so why do we think it is? And why do we attempt to do so in the name of greater unity or understanding? Why not come to the table with who you are and explore God as truth with so many other different people? Should be good to see where this goes.

I am not my own. I was bought with a price. I was made in community.  In community I will discover who I was meant to be.  This can be the only way.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king’s horses and all the king’s men
Could not put Humpty Dumpty back together again.

God had a son who sat on a wall.
God sent his son to take a great fall.
So that all the earth’s kings and all of it’s men
along with Humpty Dumpty could be truly human again.

(provided Humpty Dumpty was human and not an egg)

Our goal in ‘helping’ the majority world is to bring sustainable solutions to their lives that can continue after we leave. It’s the current mindset but I’ve been wondering lately, after hearing multiple people smarter than me, if this really is the best way. Is this model truly sustainable? It’s been said alot that we should find a need a fill it through creative new ways. There is no end to need in the majority world, this we know, but I wonder if we really should be the ones to ‘fill’ it.

With this current model our solutions are only as sustainable as our desire to be involved and our own resources remain. There must be a way for us to be involved in assisting those in need while not causing dependency upon our own resources.

In fact, Vinoth Ramachandra states in one of his most recent posts that our own efforts in foreign aid remain futile while the current system of exploitation of the poor by the rich remains. It is a big issue but the cards remain stacked against the poor despite what we do on a micro level. He says that even after all of the foreign aid given to those countries there is still billions of dollars running out of them to the rich. How near impossible has the solution become?!

I’ve been thinking about this word for a while now and its meaning to me has grown constantly.  When I was a kid it wasn’t so much gratitude as learning to say ‘thank you’.  Then I started actually saying it myself, still not sure how much I actually meant it…  After awhile I know I started to mean it and I said it so others would know that I am really thankful for them and what they do.  Of course, I am still referring to saying “thank you” to others after an action or gesture.  There is a deeper feeling that goes along with those words that I wonder if we’ve lost in our politeness-driven culture.  Niceties have become the norm and perhaps we say words without thinking of their magnitude.  When I say thank you I really try to mean it and only say it if I truly do mean it.

Beyond these words however there is a deeper gratitude that I feel.  It can’t so much be expressed by a simple “thank you,” but must be expressed in some other way.  This gratitude compels me to be different.  It commands much more of me than being thankful would.  It causes me to be better in ever increasing areas of my life.  This is the gratitude that I feel towards God.  Towards who He is and what He has done.  It is a difficult thing to explain but I believe it must be first and foremost in any believers life.  Without it we enter bad territory, which Paul knew all too well (read Romans 1:18 and following if you’re interested – preferably in an actual Bible, not online).  For this reason I seek to make gratitude an integral part of my relationship with God.  Always thanking Him for the day, for anything that happened within it, and for other things.  Beyond the day, I thank Him for life, for creation, for the hope that is found in the future… for many things.  I know my life is different because of the gratitude I hold towards God.

Gratitude isn’t always easy, and definitely doesn’t come naturally.  It doesn’t always come to mind either. I mean, you have to focus on the good, focus on the hope, focus on all that God is in order to see and then feel it.  Once you feel it, once it resonates deep within you, your life will be impacted.  At least for me it’s been the case.  It makes Christ attractive; makes me want to be like Him.  It causes me to view life differently that I did before.  It is necessary.  This is part of what I think of when I see the word ‘gratitude’.  I hope you explore it deeper too.

I was thinking today as I sat in my Pastoral Life Issues class of how much technology has changed the way we learn… or in this instance how we don’t learn.  With the world  (read “internet”) at our fingertips (read “iPhone/iPod touch”) we seem to be interested in everything but what our professor is saying to us.  There are stats to check, sites to browse and people to text.  I just wonder what it would have been like to be in college without all this technology around us.  People must have learned more then right? Or were there other distractions which equally took our time and attention away from the lecture? Perhaps a game of tic-tac-toe? or carving our names into the wooden desks? I mean really… what was the deal 20 years ago?

So I’m reading this book on the Pentecostal Movement that was written in 1946.  If I’m honest, I have this tendency to think of the early pioneers as somewhat naive and childish Christians with their simple faith and simple message.  I tend to believe that somehow we’ve grown and evolved into mature Christians today and see the world and our faith much more comprehensively than they did a hundred years ago.  Why is that so? I mean, I’m reading all these testimonies of crazy and constant healing and tons of conversions taking place.  Why can’t that happen today? Have we all just forgotten about the spiritual-ness of our faith? I don’t know.  I tend to be more “rationalistic” in my faith these days.  If you have a sickness see a doctor, take some medication, rest for a bit.. its all natural, no need to bother God over it.  And I think about drug addicts that are too far gone to be healed because of biological dependency issues, but God can heal even the “most far gone” can’t He?  Although my faith may be more “comprehensive” than the early days I don’t think it’s stronger.  If anything I need to figure out how my faith can be simplified… not throwing away intellectualism, but realizing that there are many things that are far beyond what my mind and humanity can comprehend.  There is more to life than just understanding it all.

The early Pentecostal pioneers believed there was healing in the atonement and resurrection of Christ, looking forward to a day when all pain and disease would be wiped away.  They saw the promise of God as already fulfilled and believed in Him to bring about what He had said.  Such a simple faith.  We call it naive but I think they realized much more than we give them credit for.

Just watched an interesting film that very much related to my modular class on Managing Ministry.  It focused upon the possibilities that are available when many people collaborate and work towards a greater goal, facilitated through the web.  It built upon the fact that increasingly within our society  people are distrustful of corporations and the governing bodies because of the closed system and top-down approach they represent.  Society is changing towards a more partnership/collaboration approach and this film explores the outcome.  It  was a very interesting documentary and I was left wondering what else could be possible by getting people involved in something towards a greater goal.

The one critique I had of this whole collaboration/partnership approach is that it really puts much faith within humanity and the good of society, believing that given the choice people will choose good over evil.  While I agree that there are many positive results from these projects I wonder how Christianity fits into it all.  Not Christendom, because I think the way we do church needs to change into something similar to this model, but what are the implications for the doctrines of our faith?  If we believe that people are inherently sinful and selfish then how can we go on collaborating on a worldwide scale to help others out and work towards a better society?  I believe a better society is a good thing, but then where is the gospel? In the end, people still need more than a better society right?

So the basic beliefs of this whole movement are based upon non-Christian foundations, at least from my understanding, and I wonder where my focus should be in all this.  I believe Christ wants us to be a light in this world, but then what does that mean/look like when unbelievers are working together, building community and working towards a common good without God?  This I don’t have the answer to right now.

Regardless of where I’m at, I still think this documentary is worth watching and even donating to because of the quality and insight it brings. Check it out here for yourself (1hr long):